THIS IS A MUST READ FOR ALL ADULTS, MARRIED OR HOPING TO GET MARRIED
I read this story from a site about the experience of a happily married woman. I was touched by her efforts in achieving a happy home, that's why I want to share it so you can benefit from her experience i have been.
HAPPY READING
I have been married
for the past 9 yrs, I'm blessed with 3 kids (2boys and a girl) and I
have the most amazing hubby... I'm trying to correct the notion that all
marriages are wacky and all because that's not true. It wouldn't be
nice if some single girls out there don't get to know that marriages can
work if u make it happen.
I got married 9yrs ago to my hubby, we dated for a year and got married..
My friends were
like it was too soon since we barely know our selves, I was staying in
Abuja while him in Lagos. I just come occasionally to visit him, so
after a year, we figured it was time to move to the next level which was
very amazing... We got married and I started living the life of a
married woman..
We loved each other
so much but their were things we did not know about each other since it
was long distance hence posed a problem for us.. I had very bad mouth
as of that time.. I do like to challenge everyone including him which he
didn't like.. We argued a lot which ends up with several beatings..
The first time my
hubby hit me, I ran to my aunt's place and later went back home, it
happened again and again, but the whole thing was after the beatings, he
comes back to say sorry and to tell me how the things I said to him
really did hurt and how he's hot tempered and I'm hot tempered and
all...
After a year, I
told my self I had to work on my self, I stopped talking too much,
prayed more often and asked God to help me with my temper, I stopped
challenging him and always make him feel more than superior to me, like
magic, the whole fighting stopped.
I took in and gave
birth to our twin boys the second year. I was so engrossed with taking
care of the babies that I forgot to give my hubby the attention he
deserved... When my babies were 5 month old, I went through my hubby's
fone for the first time and I found out he was cheating on me.. The girl
in question was supposed to be a family friend but she started sleeping
with my husband..
I went thru the
whole bbm chat and saw the way the girl started flirting with my hubby
and how he tried to resist and how he finally fell for her tricks, I was
mad, I was raged but at the same time I was determined to be calmed
about the whole thing.. I didn't mention it to him when he came to pick
up his phone cos I would have insulted him and said so many hurtful
things to him, so I pretended like I saw nothing..
The next day, I
started jogging with some neighbors, after 2weeks I got a treadmill and
started using at home.. I was still running in the morning and using
the treadmill at night.. After 3 months, I lost the whole baby fat
coming back to 60kg which was my initial weight.. I didn't give up, I
kept trying to look fit and everything..
One night, my hubby
came to me saying we needed to talk, I was like hope there is no
problem? He said there is! And I was like lemme hear it. He then opened
up to me about his affairs with that girl.. Told me everything that
happened, even went ahead to show me the whole chat and how he ended it
with the girl and how she's still calling back and begging for more. Of
course she was gonna beg for more,my hubby is well endowed and
gifted(LoL).
He was crying and apologizing but I told him he shouldn't worry,that it was all my fault,I
forgot about him and he saw attention some where else.. We made up and
after 2 days,hegot me a car out of guilt but I told him to stop worrying
butI still liked the fact that he got me the car,it was my dream car.
We started enjoying
our lives the way it was before; going to the movies, club, hanging
out, I gave him all my attention. Even after I gave birth to my baby
girl 3yrs later, he didn't cheat on me bcos I made sure I didn't stop
been a mother, a wife, lover and friend. As usual, I started exercising
again and went back to my body 4months after my baby was born. We were
so blessed, work was going fine, home was fine.
Now when I say
"Home was fine" it didn't mean we were not quarreling, we were but I
just made sure if I was gonna quarrel about anything, it was gonna be
something worth it and I tried as much as possible not to be harsh or
rude..
There was a time we quarreled and couldn't reconcile immediately like usual and I went out
to tell a male friend of mine not knowing that was the last thing I
should be doing.The guy was advising me and I felt he was nice. One day,
the same talk came up between me and my hubby, when we couldn't
reconcile, I drove of to that guy's house.. He consoled me and started
kissing me.. I was kissing him back and it suddenly dawned on me, he's
not my husband, I couldn't do that to my hubby, I pushed him off and
drove back home.
I told my hubby he
won and told him how I kissed someone else and he told me he
understands, so we'd drop the case even if I was right, deleted the guy
as a friend and worked on my marriage.. Since then,we don't stay mad at
each other more than 10mins.. My friends come to the house and they are
like, I envy ur marriage, that we still act as newly weds and all, but
what they don't know is its not easy getting ur family 2geda.
Its so hard been a
friend, lover, best friend, mistress, mother, wife, sister all in one..
I'm from a broken home so I know what I and my sister went thru and I
didn't want that for my kids.. So I had to fight to make my home work. I
got married when I was 18 and right now 27, but when u see me look 24,
people never believe I'm 27 or a mother cos I made sure I kept my self
looking good.. My hubby doesn't like the whole idea of wrapper or
anything so I don't have one except for meetings. I dress in my bum
shorts, mini skirts, short dresses, anything to keep me looking good
So at this point I'm going to say, ladies:
1. Marriage is not easy
2. Don't go into marriage expecting so much
3. Don't think ur marriage would not have problems, they will always have, what makes u a woman is the ability to handle it
4. Make ur partner ur friend, best friend, lover, wife, mistress, mother, sister. With that, he can open up to u all the time
5. Never loose urself because u are married, he loved what he saw that's why he married u, try not to go away from that
6. Never share ur problems with anyone, u would get the wrong advice from people, handle ur problems within
7. Do not argue with ur hubby, let him win if u see its gonna pose as a problem
8. For ladies
with sharp mouth, trim it, that's the one thing men hate, it took me
time to learn, so please and please, never challenge ur hubby, cos it
would make him feel he's not in control and men like feeling they are in
control even when actually, its the women who are in control
9. Talk to him all the time, appreciate anything he does and encourage him
10. Don't forget to make God ur number one.. Don't joke with prayers, it never fails
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